I am so excited to be a mentee candidate for #PitchWars! Thanks for reading my #PimpMyBio. I really hope to be on your team! Right now I feel like my fifth-grade asthmatic gym class self…”pick me! pick me!” Speaking of my fifth-grade self, check out my 31 facts below for my life in 31 bullet points: NA, older NA, and MG.

31 facts for my 31 years…

New Adulthood

100_00901. It was all pink Comic Sans font in my Yahoo email account.

2. I shook it like a Polaroid picture to Outkast.

3. I watched Golden Girls reruns on Lifetime before going out on the weekends.

4. I was so sure I’d make it as an advertising copywriter.

5. I watched SATC Season 5 reruns on my laptop.

6. I moved to Washington D.C. to make it on my own after college and ended up driving back to Indiana in a U-Haul with my understanding father 8 months later.

7. I made No Pudge Brownies with my best friend at 3 am in college.

8. I repeatedly overdrafted my checking account to buy skirts at H&M that I no longer own or fit into.

9. I once dated the guy who changed the oil on my first car. We listened to Maroon 5 in his living room while I waited for my life to start. Thankfully, my life eventually did start.

10. I was tender, passionate, and unafraid.

11. I often ran out of toilet paper.

Current Adulthood (an aging New Adult)

IMG_1458

1. I love my identical twin toddler boys and my husband so much that I’m afraid to think about it.

2. I don’t always get to shower every day. Luckily, I remember the above bullet point during those times.

3. I like Raisin Nut Bran and often dig in the box to pick out extra raisin nuts. Later in the week I’m sad that these are gone and curse myself for my lack of foresight.

4. I often reread Cynthia Voigt’s A SOLITARY BLUE.

5. I take my phone into the bathroom and scroll through my FB news feed while I pee.

6. …I still haven’t gotten the chance to shower.

7. Wine, strong cheese, and skimming the latest Bed Bath and Beyond mailer are quiet moments to be savored at the end of my day.

8. I’m a sucker for anything bananas-foster flavored.

9. I adore Katy Perry.

10. I want to be a writer so badly it hurts.

Picture Book and Middle Grade Years

img0201. I constantly accused my mother of naming me Emily Elizabeth after the blond-bobbed girl in the Clifford books. The fact that I had the same little bob? So not a coincidence. (Fess up, Mom.)

2. I made my own snow globes from Mason jars.

3. I ran desperately through Waldenbooks each month to scour for new Babysitters Club books. Bonus points for Super Specials.

4. My family lived in 6 different states before I graduated high school.

5. I was neat as a kid but am a slob as an adult.

6. I like and still like lists.

7. I had constant chapped lips that left a red ring around my mouth.

8. When I was 10 I refused to wash my hair for weeks.

9. I wasn’t very popular.

10. On long car trips I hated when it turned dark because it meant I couldn’t read any more, so I held the book up and tried to read snatches of sentences when passing a lamppost.

 
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